‘Twas the night before chemo and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring not even a mouse
The steroids I set by the bedside with care
Praying that sleep might happen near there.
The night before chemo I like things all clean
From low energy ‘n-sore legs the house is a scene!
The kitchen is messy, the laundry a heap
When the steroids kick in, I'll clean and I'll sweep!
Tomorrow is Taxol I think with a shudder,
So glad that this drug is better than the others
The nausea! The mouth sores! The headaches! Oh my!
With Taxol I just need a wheelchair to get by
My stomach is yucky, all tied up in knots
I'll never get used to the pills and the shots
The doctors, they mean well but what do they know?
They should try it sometime, now that'd be some show!
Here's prune juice and flax seeds and bran flakes for you
I do hope this mixture will allow you to poo
If not then drink water and go to bed in tears
Don't worry your patients have been doin' this for years!
On barfyness, on tiredness, on painful fingernails
No side effect can take the wind from my sails
I'm bald and I'm fat, but what do I care?
I look in the mirror and it's ME standing there
Treatment's soon over and all will be right
I hope so, I pray so, I dream it will be
‘cause chemo is a nightmare I don't care to repeat!