3 disjointed thoughts

1) What I do not get is why my prosthetic has to be so damned heavy. It hurts my scar, it hurts my shoulder it is stupid! I am an perky A cup so having a pound of rubber on the one side is totally foreign. My prosthetic is an adhesive one (what a riot to have a stick on boob, let me tell ya) but they say it is too soon to wear it that way with such a new scar) Don't even get me started on finding a mastectomy bathing suit for competitive swimming! NOT one of the companies that makes suits for athletes make a mastectomy suit. Somehow doing a triathlon in a Sears or Lands End mastectomy suit will not seem right.

2) Today I had someone ( a total stranger who knows about me through my store I guess) asks me "how are you doing" and I said well chemo finished a week ago so it will be sometime until I feel normal again but today is a good day. She asked again "but you are fine now?" I gave her some answer but it upset me a lot. I was standing there bald, and clearly lopsided in my tank top, a week out of chemo and some stranger wants me to tell them that I am healthy????

WTF???? Yes dear stranger lady, my boob grows back a little each day, just like my hair and those cool doctors cured me with that magic medicine. It was just like a vacation really!

3) It has been one week since chemo finished. This emotional roller coaster is a whole new set of things I did not anticipate. I have no chemo to " look forward" to this coming week. I have no medical appointments, and no tests for another 3 weeks when I start the antibody I have to have for another year. My BF reminded me that since December when i found the lump, nothing has been normal and since I was working my busy season then it meant I had been working 50-60 hours a week for 7 weeks at that point- which of course is not normal. Soooo, that means that my life has been somewhere south of normal for damned close to 10 months.

So, I will blog more in the next few days, but I am not sleeping well and my feet and hands are all goofy and tingly from the Taxol. I am off to try and sleep.

Cheers,