New Boobs and a Babe?

I saw my mastectomy surgeon for my yearly check up this morning. He said everything seems fine and there were no notes from my mammogram in December. No news is good news right??
Then, I asked him about reconstruction and we chatted about types and stuff and I have been referred to a local plastic surgeon. It could be months before I can see him, and maybe months after that to get the surgery done. This sucks, but whatever. I've got bigger things (ha) to worry about in my life right now... I'll get em done sometime maybe.
Earlier this week I was watching a lot of the coverage of Haiti and the earthquake victims and wishing I could help. I had an odd but strangly not unsettling thought. I should adopt a baby from there!
If this was not a sketchy time financially and so close to a medical biggy like cancer... I'd do it in the blink of an eye.
Yup, I would!

foob in the woods

You know that pile of clothes that you've worn once, but can be worn again a couple of times but never really gets hung up or put away again until it is actually ready for the wash?
Today's bright side of cancer? In that heap of in between clothes I can always find my foob filled bra quickly 'cause when I rustle through the pile looking for it... the foob is so damn heavy the bra falls with a thud to the floor...
;)

Bushtucker

It's funny you know. Every step of this cancer "journey" has been a trial of varying degrees. Most of it manageable with sleep, or tears or medication or gnashing of teeth. If you have read this blog from the beginning then you know the horrors I went through.
Tomorrow I get to take another step. I got a call to see my gene counsellor and I assume that I will receive the results from my long awaited breast cancer test when I see her tomorrow. I won't be holding my breath given the massive screw ups the cancer centre has offered me in the past. Maybe she just wants to have tea. ;)

Let's just assume shall we that my gene test result is sitting on her desk tonight and I will have the results in my hand by 2-ish tomorrow? That's my hope anyway. If I have the breast cancer gene I may likely choose to have my other breast removed among other things because my risk for more cancer would be higher.

I've been thinking lately, about 2009 and 2008 and how things simply must get better soon. '08 was my year of having cancer, then 8 weeks after chemo ended the press started talking about a recession in Canada. Sooo, '09 has been the year of desperately tap dancing to keep my business afloat and my store from going under. I was angry for awhile... thinking how unfair it was that the recession came right on the heels of a major personal health upheaval. Really? I kept saying... really???
Right after cancer you give me nail biting financial strife and many sleepless nights wondering what the future is supposed to hold for me, my business and my son.
Now... I say BRING. IT. ON!!! Because I can take anything! and this time I am a force to be reckoned with!

2010? Do you hear that? I am not going to take your crap!

Over the last few weeks I have been watching a new friend of mine on one of those reality shows where they are stranded in the jungle with very little food or amenities. Their only option to get food was to do these crazy challenges like eating cockroaches and untying knots in pools full of baby crocodiles. Watching the TV show (suspending my disbelief of course)I saw my friend go through all manner of emotional and physical states in 20 days some of it heart wrenching some if it exhilarating as I watched him survive hunger, conquer old fears, endure bullying from other participants and in the end come out saying what an amazing experience it was and how he has grown and changed for the better...

I know already that having cancer clarified a lot of stuff for me personally. I believe that seeing my store through a recession will allow me to have some more clarity professionally... boring perhaps but really, really huge for me.

Are you listening 2010?? I ran the gauntlet of 2008! I drank the cockroach puree of 2009... I punched those stupid crocodiles on my way into the depths of hell and I am still here!

I am sooo ready to be voted off the island and get back to normal... whatever that is..;)
I'll keep you posted about the gene test tomorrow...

3 years

3 years ago today my beloved Mummy died after a long, long 5 years with cancer, chemo and all the horrors that go with that. There but for the grace of God..... but anyone who reads my infrequent blogging knows that I am still here... alive and kicking. But today's blog is not really about me.
Because I live in the house she spent her last days in I see her in everything and life has thrown me some curve balls lately so she is closer than ever.

My dearest Mummy, I have you with me with every stir of a pot, with every thread in a needle, with every clank of a glass. Your words spring from my mouth and my son looks at me like I am crazy, just like I must have to you....I have collected people in my life who say canny, and besom and twee and my chip pan is full of lard. My dishes aren't done, and I work too much but the food is good and I am teaching Luke to cook. Now because of a strange but neccesary turn of events in my business I will be following in the footsteps of Grump(my Mum's Dad for those readers who don't know), Uncle Gordon and you and with your old black hairdressing scissors in my hand I'll be cutting hair. There are lots of moments I wish you were here. There are lots of moments I know you are here and with every snip I have a feeling I will know more and more....

Chemo Curly? This event is for you!

Dear CurlFriends, Curls in Disguise, Chemo Curly's & WavyCurls too,

I am so crazily excited to tell you about this event I can barely type! My Friend, Curly Mentor, the original DevaCurl Angel Lorraine Massey is coming to see us at our boutique in Dundas! On October 25th Lorraine & her amazing staff "Curl-Man" David will regale us with curly tales, tips & tricks to help you live frizz free no matter how curly or wavy you are! Bring us your curls, whirls, nappyness and all & we'll teach you the magic of the Deva! Leave your blowfryers and your troubles at the door, we'll spoil you with curly deals & a refreshment or three!

Bring a canned good to donate to the local food bank & we'll trade you for one of our favourite bathing treats.

I cannot wait to see you & all your smiling faces to greet our guests! More details and RSVP contact below... Yours as always, Noëlle
Want to reserve your free spot at the CurlyCon?
You choose- October 25th 1:00pm or 3:30pm to reserve by phone 905 627 9379 or email ellenoire@ellenoire.com or use this link to the website...
Watch this video for more info on DevaCurl!

New Day !

My friend Jenny is hoping today is a New Day....I guess she had a crappy one yesterday. The words "New Day" always make me think of this song...



I first remember hearing it when my beloved Dissipated 8 sang it at Middlebury... and listen to it on an ancient scratched CD when I need to. The song ties so many people and so many memories together it is hard to even know whether it is actually memories I think of when i hear it or I just sense the many faces and landscapes pass through me as I hear the words and music. The Mountains, my many many friends over many many years... and it has become one of my fave songs that is also tied to my breast cancer years... as some of you know my doctor gave my a semi official cancer free status yesterday... or as I like to call it... No Evidence of Disease (aka NED) So, today truly is a New Day!

Someday, maybe me and some of my many many friends could get together so I can get a chance to sing it...if, I could actually get through it without crying that is...
Cheers to a New Day! For Jenny....and for the memories of Yolande and RanD because you are part of all my New Days

A Woman's Work ....

By the time you read this, I'll have an IV needle in my arm... or maybe I'll just be sitting in a waiting room, waiting for someone to put a needle in my arm. Today is my last cancer treatment. Barring anything unforseen, and of course assuming that I don't get cancer again... I won't have to be back in a cancer treatment chair ever again.

I just finished watching my favourite TV show a few hours ago.
So you think you can Dance... have you ever seen it? I started watching it last summer when I was in chemo. It made the summer pass a little quicker, getting excited every week about the dancers and who would dance what style and how well. There was a brief time I though I wanted to be a dancer, and this show has stoked that fire a little. I don't watch much television and this show made me fall in love with a show for the first time in a very long time. This season a choreographer named Tyce Diorio created a Dance piece dedicated to his friend Michelle who has endured Breast Cancer. In the audience when it was performed again at the finale tonight? Christina Applegate, who was diagnosed when I was in chemo. She was crying, I was crying .. lots of people watching the show were crying.


Skip the talking at the end, if you want to... and yes, I wish it was the original Kate Bush version of the song too.


I wonder, if I saw this last year while I was still in hardcore treatment how I would have felt. I wonder if I had seen this before I got cancer would I have really felt much at all. I wonder, if cancer had never touched me, where would I be?....who would I be?....What is this failing business, this chapter of cancer ending.. what is it all about? Where is it all leading me?

This morning, I found the hairdressing scissors that my mother used to cut our hair my whole life. She cut my customers hair until a few months before she died from cancer. 3 summers ago I watched her health decline after 5 years in chemo. I was there everyday through every step of cancer treatment and her death process.
Last night someone told me I should be using those scissors to start the next phase of my career.

This afternoon I chatted with one of the favourite people in the neighbourhood of my store. His wife has terminal cancer, she has had treatment after treatment after treatment. I looked into the eyes of a man exhausted by the pain of watching his wife suffer, he saddened himself by the fact that he was grumpy today when she never complains about the daily injections, nurse visits and dressing changes. I told him I get his part in the cancer stuff... and for the most part.. I get hers too.

Tomorrow I pack a gift for another cancer friend in her 3rd summer on chemo.


Today I met a customer who was diagnosed with breast cancer soon after I was...she disappeared after her treatment started. I worried about her. I was very excited to see her!
Her newly grown hair looks like what we refer to as chemo curly....

I wonder if she'll need a haircut soon.....